Twitter Turn-offs: Why She’s Blocking You

Recently I had to protect my account in order to ditch an individual I’ll call “Creepasaurus Rex”, whom I followed during a late night fit of poor judgement.  Fortunately, my overall experience with Twitter has been a positive one.  I have been delighted to discover that the overwhelming majority of you are intelligent, funny, decent human beings.  I’ve only blocked a handful of people since joining last April, most of them being persistent porn spammers.  Only two fell into the Creepasaurus category.  Not a bad average, really, considering it was a stalker who led me to Twitter in the first place, but that’s another story.  So boys, if you’re lonely and looking for luv, here are some tips to help you avoid being blocked like a Creepasaurus.

#1.  Unless her first contact with you involved an invitation to view her naughty pictures, you can safely assume that there will be no “Twex.”

And on that subject, ladies, some of you DYI’ers have posted some pretty heinous digital pics.  If you can’t hire a professional, please avoid flourescent lighting, Zoolander facial expressions and do Photoshop the zits off your asses.

#2.  Your first @ to her should not contain questions about or references to her body parts. 

#3.  Unless you’re a fashion designer, don’t ask her what she’s wearing. 

#4.  If she hasn’t responded to your inappropriate question don’t repeatedly @ and DM her insisting she do so.

#5.  When she tells you she’s not looking for a relationship, believe her and back off.

#6.  Do not insert yourself into all her conversations to tell her what a bitch your ex-girl friend is.

#7.  When she tells you she’s sorry you’re lonely but would rather not talk about your pathetic love life, STFU.

#8.  Do not ask her if she will hook you up with any of her female followers.

#9.  When she declines that last request, do not create a new account and then @ her posing as your jealous ex-girlfriend. 

#10. Last but not least, if all the women on your Following list have the same first name, you might be a psychopath.

Have any tips or horror stories of your own?  I’d love to hear them and remember, never tell anyone you don’t know personally who and where you really are.

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~ by loretta8 on January 2, 2010.

One Response to “Twitter Turn-offs: Why She’s Blocking You”

  1. That was great! Loved reading that!

    What are you wearing?

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