I had three potted plants that I’d grown tired of over the last 10+ years.  I wanted to use their pots for some more interesting species, but I just couldn’t bring myself to dump them out. 

One was a spindly, spineless Dracaena that couldn’t stand up without support.  No matter how I fertilized, watered and pruned, 3/4 of the leaves would fall off and the top-heavy portion would tip over. 

The second was a Mother-in-law’s Tongue that did well until the cat knocked it over and knocked it over and knocked it over.  It and the cat had some kind of personal problem. 

Third, was an apathetic Aloe Vera that periodically withered at the roots and fell out of the pot for no apparent reason. 

I steeled myself against the guilt and carried them outside yesterday, preparing to commit herbicide.  I swear they spoke to me.

The Dracaena pleaded for its life.  “You can have my pot!  Plant me outside somewhere shady.  Just bring me in before it freezes in anything you have lying around.”

The Mother-in-law’s Tongue said, “You suck.  Take me back in right now and plant me halfway down in a heavy cylindrical pot and leave me on the floor.  And take that damn cat to the pound!”

“I don’t give a shit, just do it,” said the Aloe Vera.  “I’ve been trying to commit suicide for years.”

I dumped out the Mother-in-law’s Tongue.   ; )


~ by loretta8 on May 25, 2010.

One Response to “Herbicide”

  1. Hi! Just wanted to let you know I gave you an award over on my blog. 🙂

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